The DYNAMITE! Files

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #200, 26.09.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 20C max, wind E 6mph; Sun, sunny, 19C max, wind E 3mph +++
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TWO HUNDRED NOT OUT
+++ It’s our double century! +++
During any other week, this publication would have made a right song-and-dance about RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT’s stylish revamp of http://www.londondynamo.co.uk, which was launched yesterday. We would have gone on to highlight TORKEL ‘REDTOP’ DOHMERS coming within one point of his 2nd cat licence after he narrowly missed winning the Alfold 3rd cat race on Sunday… http://tinyurl.com/539k3y. There would have been praise for CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN and her crew of Dynamettes winning the Women’s Team Series in the white-and-black outfits of the Surrey League following Sunday’s final round in Griffydam, Leics, where rider-manager Charlington took both primes… http://tinyurl.com/43fjn9. And there might well have been a prominent mention for RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON and GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL, who ventured to the Normandy market town of Marigny to complete the 34-mile Duo Normand two-up time trial in 1:16:52, giving them 4th place in the Regionaux 1 category… http://tinyurl.com/44jwdy. But this edition isn’t about them. It’s not about you, either. It’s about us. So come now as we wind our way through the twisting lanes of Dynamo’s illustrious past to celebrate four years, five months, two weeks and six days of Britain’s very best Dynamatic update – or, to put it more concisely, 200 issues of pure DYNAMITE! exemplified by a wholly subjective selection of issues unearthed from the vaults and attached to this edition. Here come ten of the very best…

#1 – WE’RE OFF!
On a sunny spring Sunday in 2004, when membership numbers were gradually creeping towards 50 (yes, Dynamates, 50!) and the first consignment of Dynamo kit was languishing in an eastern European warehouse, club co-founder PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN asked a certain 4th cat during a club ride to Windsor if he wouldn’t mind overseeing the production of a weekly newsletter. Having had experience in at least one questionable publication, the eager chap naturally accepted the offer and dutifully produced the first edition the following Friday, quite unaware of the phenomenon he had unleashed. Dyna-monikers had yet to make an appearance (‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY was the first to get his, which wasn’t until #5) and TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT was only a lowly 3rd cat, but the now-familiar DYNAMITE! elements of good-natured ribbing and a light-hearted gossipy tone were already in place. The London Dynamo Newsletter was born!

#19 – THUNDERBIRDS ARE ‘MO!
The newsletter’s inbox was flooded with messages of praise soon after the first edition trundled its way out of our trusty Vic-20, but a number of the editorial team, fearing the novelty would soon wear off, decided to run the Small Print results service at the foot of each issue – so if the readership tired of whimsical wordplay, at least they would now have a useful round-up of all the week’s main Dynamo placings. Meanwhile, some of the newsletter’s more ambitious wordsmiths set themselves the difficult task of having 100 different themes for the first hundred issues – an uncompromising approach which produced this totally unique edition featuring a Thunderbirds-style countdown incorporated into one continuous piece of prose. Technically accomplished, conceptually brilliant, and, like all works of art, utterly pointless. In other words, a newsletter classic!

#51 – FISHING FOR PUNS
The business of churning out puns can be a tough one, but anyone involved in it will know that the subject of fish is one of the most prodigious verbal oceans you can possibly trawl. This bouillabaisse of an issue is the proof. Enjoy the feast!

#64 – AN UNMEMORABLE EXPERIENCE
Perusing the leather-bound volumes containing our collective output triggered happy memories of a few notable former ‘Mos, including Sunday ride stalwart ED ‘CHALET’ RAYNARD, jet-setting triathlete DOMINIC ‘I WANT IT ALL’ PAUL, and Granfondo Pinarello regular TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, whose personalities and presence helped make Dynamo the friendly, inclusive club it is today. But we stumbled across just as many obscure names, including ROBERT ‘THE VAGUE’ PRITCHARD, who gave this classic non-account of the 2005 Etape which deserves a bigger mention in the annals of London Dynamo. Having a total memory blackout after a sportive should henceforth be known as “doing a Pritchard”. What a great way to remember the guy!

#77 – OUT OF GAS
By now, the London Dynamo Newsletter had changed its name to the much snappier DYNAMITE! and was flying faster than a Richmond Park speed skater heading downhill with the squits. Britain’s top Dynamatic news update had created a cult figure in the form of KEN ‘MASCOT’ BUIST, the enigmatic New Zealander who was being closely monitored by eagle-eyed readers for the hugely popular Ken Watch feature, and the reams of brilliant results spewing out of our famous ticker tape machine provided many a gripping read. It seemed DYNAMITE! could do no wrong – and indeed it couldn’t, as this issue turned out to be a hit even though it had bugger all in it. There’s no accounting for taste!

#100 – THAT’S 99 DOWN…
At this point, even the most dedicated DYNAMITE! fan may feel that our exhaustive retrospective is taking up too much time in their usual Friday morning light-read-and-a-latte schedule – but if you happen to be a relative newcomer to the Dynamo family, or you just have a very short memory, then issue 100 really is the one that you must read. All the Dynamo history you need to know, and lots more that you didn’t, including the obscure origin of some of the more intriguing Dyna-monikers. It’s all here, Dynamates!

#111 – BACK FROM THE SMED
In terms of the sheer breadth of different activities that were going on, the summer of 2006 was a turning point for the club, which had started out chiefly as a road racing outfit and was now branching out into all kinds of other areas. Knobbly-tyre merchant STUART ‘EASY’ SPIES won at Beastway, ROBIN ‘OSSIE’ OSBORNE took his Ventoux Velo Vets to the Giant of Provence, ROB ‘THE SAINT’ JEFFROY almost had the fastest time at the Dragon Ride, and big-hearted JOHN KIPPS rode from Lands End to John O’ Groats for charity. The inaugural London Dynamo Road Race had also been pulled off to great acclaim in Handcross, West Sussex, with many competitors expressing how impressed they were by DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE giving the time gaps on a whiteboard while mounted on GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY’s motorbike. And let us not forget that high-achiever RICHARD ‘WIN ‘EM’ SIMMONDS set a Dynamo record by rising from 4th to 1st cat in just 16 weeks and one day. Naturally, DYNAMITE! kept on punning throughout all of these incredible events, bringing you all the news that mattered and an awful lot more besides, including IAN ‘KING OF’ PAINE’s technicolour yawn on the Crystal Palace circuit and Gordon’s now-infamous gatecrashing of a French wedding reception to blag a can of sugar-replenishing Coke so he could finish the Trophee De L’Epervier. In other news, a little-known former 1st cat, now in his late 30s, had arrived on the Dynamo scene, determined to get back into racing. That man was none other than TONY ‘PEETEER’ SMEDLEY – and little did the chirpy Mancunian know that he would one day become the boss of Britain’s best cycling club!

#134 – COVER YOUR EARS!
“OK, we admit it,” wrote incoming General Secretary NICK ‘CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK on the eve of Dynamo’s 2005 AGM, “we’ve been crap at attracting and keeping women members.” But the blonde bombshell’s fear that the committee’s “dashing good looks and limitless charm” had scared the ladies off proved to be ill-founded as PETA ‘RUBS’ McSHARRY’s appointment as Women’s Secretary in early 2006 began the gradual process of attracting non-male members to the UK’s most gender-friendly cycle squad. Today Dynamo can boast of having a woman member who has gone under the hour for a ’25’ in the form of JENNY ‘J-LLOYD’ JONES, not to mention her fellow Dynamettes NAOMI ‘JUDGE’ ANDERSON, CLAIRE ‘BILLY’ BEAUMONT, REBECCA ‘WHIRLIGIG’ CURLEY and SUSANNAH ‘GUNDOLA’ OSBOURNE helping propel their Surrey League squad to victory in the Women’s Team Series. The SL team was, of course, co-ordinated by rider-manager CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN – and here she in typically outspoken form before she became one of the few lady elites in the country. What a gob she’s got on her!

#139 – HERE COME THE HOT STEPPERS
One really cannot overestimate the contribution of the Solna Avenue contingent to Dynamo’s early years – indeed, without TOM ‘HUMBLE’ HEMMANT’s rapid rise to 1st cat along with his eagerness to shine a light on the achievements of his old school chums CHRIS ‘VAN CHADDERS’ CHAPMAN and RICHARD ‘BOY RACER’ DOLBY, the incipient newsletter would have been considerably less interesting. Way back in issue #65, we revealed the story of how the crew from Crewe along with Tom’s girlfriend LUCY ‘LOVELY’ DOVE moved into a house in Putney to create the highest concentration of ‘Mos in one location – and here they are again, celebrating Chris getting hitched to his university sweetheart Nicola. Sadly, Tom took issue with the description of his dancing abilities, but time is a great healer, so he might now have a similar reaction to his elder sibling JOE ‘BLOW’ HEMMANT, who laughed his head off as soon as he read it.

#184 – TOILET TROUBLE
We’d have loved to end this retrospective with a bang rather than a parp, but this story of PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY’s bottom misadventure really is too good to pass up. Toilet humour, but tastefully done – would you expect anything less from us?

MANY THANKS
Well, that’s your lot. The DYNAMITE! team now officially has 200 issues under its belt – and it’s been OK so far, don’t you think? Many thanks to PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN for asking us to do a newsletter in the first place, and we’re grateful to original club president Guy Andrews along with committee members past and present for encouraging this weekly folly. But, of course, we would never have got as far as issue #1 without your contributions, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we reset the Vic-20 for issue #201, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and ideas for the next 200 editions.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #201, 03.10.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, heavy rain, 13C max, wind SW 13mph; Sun, light showers, 16C max, wind W 7mph +++
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A RASHER DECISION
+++ Dynamettes swap Box Hill for butties +++
The sound of slapped palms resonated around this publication’s famous soundproof bunker last week – and messages of praise for the landmark issue #200 came flooding in not long after the editorial team had completed its orgy of celebratory high fives. The hugely-impressed DAVID ‘GOLIATH’ ANDREWS hailed the double century as “a superb achievement”, while MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON said: “Bloody well done – many thanks for all those Friday mornings.” Their thoughts were echoed by JASON ‘WILLS’ GREEN, who wrote: “Thanks for the Beano Annual-style DYNAMITE! retrospective. I’ve done bugger all this morning as a result.” And there were further congratulations from PETA ‘RUBS’ McSHARRY and PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY over on the forum… http://tinyurl.com/45qxj3. Our organ, as Peta rightly pointed out, is a modest one which would not dream of throwing a huge party to celebrate our historic 200th edition – so we would like to thank DAVID ‘DORIAN’ STREULE for doing the job for us, as he put the champers on ice in the packed-out basement of Aragon House on Saturday night to mark the 30th birthday of himself and his girlfriend Anna ‘Banana’ Barkensjo. The bubbly-quaffers raising a glass to the baby-faced boy wonder’s cheating of Old Father Time included TOBY ‘IS IT COS I IS’ BLACKMAN, DAVID ‘PINKY’ GARDNER, GORDON ‘KEN-A-LIKE’ KENNEWAY, GAVIN ‘NO LYIN’ RYAN, STUART ‘EASY’ SPIES and our old pal Martin, who is apparently considered to be the best-looking ‘Mo by the hostess herself. He didn’t get that Dyna-moniker for nothing, luv! Merry CHARLIE ‘VICI’ BLACKMAN also made it to the upmarket Parsons Green boozer, where she admitted to having legs of jelly earlier that day when she cycled to Box Hill for the Surrey Legs Of Steel and promptly ducked out of the mini-sportive in favour of a yummy bacon butty at the Roehampton Gate café with fellow hill-avoider Peta. Their young ride companion CAMERON ‘STEVE’ AUSTIN went on to post the second-fastest time, clocking 2:40:59 for the challenging 50-mile route, while JAMES ‘DONE IN’ DUNSBIER came 12th and laid-back Canadian ALEX ‘CALL ME AL’ ARAUJO nabbed the No.16 spot among the 361 finishers. The mist that shrouded the event soon made way for a gloriously sunny day, mirroring a certain time trialist’s experience the previous weekend – so come with us now as try to increase visibility. It’s time to peer through the gloom…

HIT AND MIST
+++ Good news for Callinan after he storms off +++
The fabled tarmac of the H25/8 course is an old friend of PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN, which is why the short-tempered tester was so annoyed after posting what he thought was a substandard time at the Hounslow and District Wheelers ’25’ in Bentley, Hants, the Sunday before last. The Kingston killer stormed off in a huff – but it later transpired his 55:11 made him the 3rd-fastest competitor among the 61 finishers… http://tinyurl.com/4dftp3. Paul adds: “They were going to change the start time due to fog, but the sun came out when I started to warm up and it turned into a beautiful summer’s day. As the time keeper said, the sun shines on the righteous.” You said it, pal!

THREE AND EASY
+++ Simple way to sign up for end-of-season events +++
We would be failing as Britain’s main source of Dynamatic news if we didn’t remind you about the club’s three events in November to mark the end of the racing year, so head over to the forum if you want to sign up for the Club Champs on the 1st… http://tinyurl.com/4u5k5p …the inaugural Hill Climb Championship on the 15th… http://tinyurl.com/3phqhp …or the end-of-season Surrey Hills ride on the 30th… http://tinyurl.com/3jcchq. We’ll see you there!

FOG OFF
The mist of vagueness has once again lifted from the ground of fact, which means that there is just enough time to thank everyone who sent in stuff for this issue before the sun breaks through the clouds. Always remember that we need you to help shift that low stratus cloud, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we wipe the moisture from our glasses, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and fog lights.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #202, 10.10.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat, sunny, 19C max, wind SW 9mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 18C max, wind S 7mph +++
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WHAM BAM, THANK YOU, CAM!
+++ Super-domestique gets Dohmers upgraded +++
As the chronicler of the season’s grand narrative, your favourite Dynamatic storytelling publication likes to begin each year’s closing chapter with a satisfying conclusion in mind – and although the final pages are still to be written, DYNAMITE! picked up its proverbial quill this week with the full intention of announcing that GUY ‘THE ENGINE’ POWDRILL would soon be striding back to the land of full employment with a 1st category licence tucked into his Montblanc wallet. You can imagine our disappointment, then, when it turned out that the 2nd cat man of leisure is still one point adrift of an upgrade after taking unlucky 13th at the 50-mile E/1/2 event at Chertsey’s MoD circuit on Saturday. Having taken receipt of just three points, gutted Guysie moaned: “If I hadn’t spent the first seven laps in a three-man break trying to kill myself, then I would have had a bit more left on the line. There must have been half an inch between 10th and me.” Oh, Guysie! The rider who clinched that coveted No.10 spot by finishing with the chasing group was none other than Powdrill’s Duo Normand partner RICHARD ‘PLACING’ MASON… http://tinyurl.com/4ws4hg …who ventured the very next day to the E/1/2/3 Finsbury Park CC race at Southminster in Essex, where he took 7th place to bag the 27 points he needed to achieve 1st cat status… http://tinyurl.com/3ecdsv. Rich reveals: “The event itself was run in appalling weather, but I was very happy to make the right split on the closing lap of the 80-mile event, and was able to take 2nd from our group.” Nice one, pal! And in an inspiring show of cross-generational co-operation in the MoD 3rd cat race, talented twentysomething CAMERON ‘STEVE’ AUSTIN came hurtling out of the downhill corner at the front of the bunch with veteran lift-share buddy TORKEL ‘REDTOP’ DOHMERS on his wheel, which enabled the cunning Swede to latch onto the army of ‘Mos on the final straight and nab 5th place, along with a 2nd cat licence… http://tinyurl.com/462fzo. There was even a bit of tactical nous displayed in the MoD 4th cat event, with 2nd-placed newbie RALPH ‘GET’ CARTER breaking away on the penultimate lap with NICK ‘CRIKEY’ DOVE and JAMIE ‘HIT IT’ LITT before the race came back together again. But with so many ‘Mos now dabbling in the hitherto-untried experiment of working together as a team, it’s heartening to know that there is at least one member who prefers the traditional Dynamo method of single-minded determination – so come with us now to the clandestine realm of the tri-spoke as we detail a personal best achieved while negotiating a significant obstacle. Watch out for that traffic jam…

EPSOM CROWNS
+++ Callinan is age group king +++
Time trial nut PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN is well used to the difficulties associated with your typical dual carriageway, yet he was nevertheless surprised when he was forced to come to a complete standstill at the Epsom CC ’25’ in Broadbridge Heath, West Sussex, after a queue of traffic on the A24 impeded his progress. It turned out that the jam was the aftermath of an accident involving a mountain biker who had gone across the road – but the Kingston crackerjack got rolling again to win his age group, beat all but one of the two-man teams, and post a personal best of exactly 54 minutes on what he considers to be one of the hardest courses in the area. More than content with taking 4th place the Sunday before last, the Dynamo co-founder felt he didn’t need to prove anything more by competing in the weekend’s diluvial conditions, which is more than can be said for ROB ‘LICENCE’ REID and MARK ‘PACING’ DRAYTON, who got a right old soaking during the Ride Of The Falling Leaves en route to completing the 50-mile trek from into Kent from Herne Hill Velodrome in 02:41… http://tinyurl.com/4bzk4c. Water way to spend a Sunday!

WRITE OFF
The quill has once again run dry, which means it’s time to thank everyone who sent in stuff for this issue before we say cheerio and top up the inkwell for next week. Always remember this would be a bare parchment without your contributions, so please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we scroll the vellum up, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and blotting paper.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #203, 17.10.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat sunny intervals, 15C max, wind W 13mph; Sun, sunny intervals, 15C max, wind SW 8mph +++
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HAPPY FINNISH
+++ Garratt partner’s joy as they tie knot +++
Whether it’s surveying the desolation of a windswept mountain bikers’ campsite in Herefordshire or wincing at Treviso’s white-trousered fashionistas, this publication can proudly claim to have already gone far beyond the call of duty to bring you this year’s biggest Dynamatic stories – but no amount of time spent reporting in the field could quite have prepared DYNAMITE! for the final stop in MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT’s night on the tiles, which turned out to be a notorious club in the West End where the girls are exceptionally friendly, if a little underdressed. The lanky lad’s behaviour was exemplary throughout Saturday evening, although he seemed somewhat uncommunicative when gazing at the metal pole at the centre of the venue (and its name, incidentally, is something of a misnomer as no mints were available and there was not a single rhinoceros in sight). Martin was, of course, engaging in the age-old ritual of the stag do, although he had already made his Finnish partner Pia a happy lady by tying the knot in a civil ceremony. The newlyweds have now jetted off to Spain to get hitched again, this time in a church, while club captain TONY ‘PETER’ SMEDLEY will be marrying his lovely American girlfriend Shannon in New York this weekend. Congratulations, all four of you! Bike-related news has, for now, understandably been drowned out by the sound of wedding bells chiming out of Dynamo Towers – and you’ll have to wait just a little while longer for a racing round-up as we reveal some important Dynamo dates. It’s time to get out your diary…

ART OF A GOOD PARTY
+++ Harknett lines up winter bash +++
It’s that time of year again, Dynamates! Social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT has revealed that the traditional Dynamo end-of-year social will take place once again in the salubrious environs of the Arts Club on Dover Street, near Green Park Tube… http://www.theartsclub.co.uk. Pencil in Thursday 4th December for what many are anticipating to be the Dynamo event of the season, complete with awards for the standout ‘Mos of 2008, a well-stocked bar, and a special guest appearance in the form of erstwhile club boss NICK ‘EX-CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK. Meanwhile, busy tiddler RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT is in the process of finalising next year’s GPM10 Mallorca training camp, which will run from March 21st-28th at the much-loved Club Pollentia resort, and new committee man ROBIN ‘OSSIE’ OSBORNE has picked out the Morzine Vallée d’Aulps as the 2009 Dynamo sportive. The classic ride through the French Alps includes the Col de Joux Plane in its 93-mile route… http://tinyurl.com/3ht5s3. More details on all of the above will be released soon – but in the meantime, why not join JULIAN ‘WONDER’ WALL and PHIL ‘NO NONSENSE’ CAVELL at their Cyclefit HQ in Covent Garden for a special Dynamo evening on Thursday 30th October? The duo will be on hand to talk about bike fitting as well as showing off new 2009 bikes from Guru, Glider, Serotta and Colnago. More info, including details of prizes and special guests, is available on the forum. We’ll see you there!

DOUBLE DOHMERS
+++ Swede’s back-to-back hill climbs +++
While perusing the Torq stall at the Cycle Show in Earl’s Court on Saturday, we were pleased to bump into the energy bar firm’s namesake TORKEL ‘REDTOP’ DOHMERS who politely enquired if he was speaking to DYNAMITE! before revealing he was mentally preparing himself for doing the Catford and Bec CC hill climbs in Surrey the following day. The Swede sensation rode both classic events on a suitably retro steel fixie while wearing a disco-style bandana… http://tinyurl.com/4gckgh …and whopping ’80s shades… http://tinyurl.com/3snj66… posting a time of 2:45 for the Catford event on Yorks Hill before doing the 4,763-foot Bec climb in nearby Limpsfield in 2:22. Tork reveals: “Yorks Hill went horribly wrong. Missed a proper warm-up, almost fell off at the start as the guy holding me leant the bike when releasing me, and opened up too hard. In the second 25 per cent section I just exploded. But I still loved the experience and will be back next year – hopefully with more Dynamates.” The only other ‘Mo at the sun-kissed Catford event was ADAM ‘ROLLING’ STONE, who took 29th with 2:17… http://tinyurl.com/3nrsr9. Nice one! At roughly the same time down in Chichester, West Sussex, 4th cats RALPH ‘GET’ CARTER and ROY McGREGOR each earned themselves an upgrade in the land of the no-grades, taking 7th and 1st respectively at pan-flat Goodwood… http://tinyurl.com/4zd468 …while in Pirbright, Surrey, ‘RADAR’ RUSS TURNER finished the Gorrick MTB masters champs 24 minutes off the leader, only to find the prize presentation had already been done. “Surely that’s just impolite haste,” says the big-eared fella, who took 17th in the Master Plus Male category… http://tinyurl.com/43hmhm. But at least Russ actually managed to finish after miscalculating the length of the event and turning up with only one bottle and an energy gel, which he managed to supplement following a last-minute hunt through his motor. He said of the race: “At various points I saw my long-suffering wife trying to entertain my daughter in a car park in a wood with some mad people cycling around. For two hours, not the one as promised.” Oh dear!

FINISHED IN THE KNICKER TIME…
The thong of news has once again bisected the buttocks of fact, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who sent in stuff for this issue before we stop gyrating. Always remember we are a big tease, but we would be nothing without you, our drooling punters. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we count up the cash stuffed in our stocking tops, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and £20 for a “private” dance.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #204, 24.10.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat light rain, 15C max, wind S 17mph; Sun, sunny, 15C max, wind NW 17mph +++
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SIX MILLION DOLLAR CAM
+++ Bionic boy unscathed for second time +++
Choosing a Dyna-moniker is a fraught business which involves hours of debate among the editorial team – so it is with some pride that this publication can report that CAMERON ‘STEVE’ AUSTIN has been living up to his bionic nickname after snapping a second frame and once again walking away from an accident unscathed. The boy wonder apparently came a cropper on Fulham’s perpetually busy North End Road, where he was reportedly doing 25mph when he interfaced with a turning car. One can only assume he flew through the air in slow motion, just like Lee Majors playing the student’s namesake, thus providing Cam with a gentle, injury-free landing while the hardy aluminium Ribble frame on loan from PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY sadly perished. Never mind – at least Paul’s loss is a gain for the manufacture of coke cans! Cam’s Kiwi mentor was also overheard mistakenly telling RICHARD ‘AV IT’ HOULT during a post-Parkride chat that the Surrey League’s E/1/2/3 Ottershaw mini-series would not be starting until the end of the month, thus preventing the powerful ball of Dyna-muscle from joining 8th-placed SAM ‘SLAM DUNK’ HUMPHESON in the top 10 the following day… http://tinyurl.com/6ejcyp. So to make sure none of you lot suffer a similar fate due to being thoroughly misinformed, we’re rounding off this characteristically brief missive from the tail-end of the season with a reminder of the key Dyna-dates coming up in the next few months. It’s time to get your BlackBerrys out…

CHAMPSING AT THE BIT
+++ Delahunty ups the excitement +++
The second annual club champs at Hillingdon on SATURDAY 1ST NOVEMBER… http://tinyurl.com/4u5k5p …is set to be even more competitive now that cheeky bookie PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY has started taking bets… http://tinyurl.com/5wwj8d …although DYNAMITE! would advise wise punters to disregard his talking-up of the curiously-named Campbell “twins”… http://tinyurl.com/5nwau9. You can also sign up for Dynamo’s inaugural hill climb championship, which takes place on the dreaded Leith Hill on SATURDAY 15TH NOVEMBER… http://tinyurl.com/3phqhp …and both events will undoubtedly produce many anecdotes to be aired at the end-of-year club social on THURSDAY 4th DECEMBER at the Arts Club near Green Park Tube… http://www.theartsclub.co.uk. Details of the much-anticipated bash will soon be issued from the desk of social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT, while RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT is due to issue further information on the GPM10 Mallorca training camp, which is penciled in for SATURDAY 21ST to SATURDAY 28TH MARCH next year. In the meantime, CHARLIE ‘VICI’ EASTON is canvassing interest in a proposed Manchester track weekend sometime in January… http://tinyurl.com/5kjrfn …and sportive organiser ROBIN ‘OSSIE’ OSBORNE is awaiting confirmation on the Morzine Vallée d’Aulps in June… http://tinyurl.com/3ht5s3 …which he is planning to run as next year’s Dynamo sportive. More info on all the above as soon as we get it!

CRASHED OUT
Like Lee Majors in his most famous role, DYNAMITE! has come to a crashing end, which means there’s just enough time to thank everyone who contributed to this issue before the newsletter is rebuilt for next week, when it will re-emerge in a form much better, stronger, faster. Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology… http://tinyurl.com/5d76cf. So please keep Dyna-mailing your race reports, news and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as we look forward to doing 60mph on a running machine, it only remains for us to remind you about…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
8.30am: The Parkride. Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps
split into fast, intermediate and steady groups.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an astronaut… a man barely alive.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.

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DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #205, 31.10.08
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+++ Having a blast every Friday +++ Dyna-mail race reports, news, views, and gossip to dynamite@londondynamo.co.uk +++ Have a peek at our pics -http://tinyurl.com/k34tf +++ Check out DYNAMITE! on the web -http://tinyurl.com/36xkay +++ WEEKEND WEATHER: Sat light showers, 10C max, wind NW 14mph; Sun, light rain, 11C max, wind E 8mph +++
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SOCIAL WORK
+++ Preparations begin for event of the year +++
This publication has been teasing you with it for weeks – and now, after a series of top-level meetings, social secretary PAUL ‘ALL BLUE’ HARKNETT has finally opened bookings for the London Dynamo Annual Social And Awards, causing much frenetic preparation in Dynamo Towers – not least from alcohol-intolerant tiddler RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, who is in training to withstand more than half a brandy liqueur. As in previous years, the value-for-money ticket price includes all food, drink and the services of former club chief NICK ‘EX-CAPTAIN’ PEACOCK as compere for the awards section of the evening, which will honour the standout ‘Mos from the past year. The social has become something of a Dynamo institution over the years and is bound to generate many an anecdote to chortle over in 2009, so make sure you book your place at the Arts Club in Mayfair… http://www.theartsclub.co.uk/ …on Thursday 4th December by posting Paul a cheque for £40, made payable to London Dynamo. His address is 30 Tudor Gardens, Twickenham TW1 4LE – and please include an e-mail address for confirmation. But before you do, remember that today is your last chance to sign up for the highly-anticipated club champs, which takes place at Hillingdon at 2pm with prizes for all categories plus the highly-coveted trophy for the first ‘Mo past the post… http://tinyurl.com/4u5k5p …and you can also try beating the credit crunch by correctly predicting the top five with PAUL ‘MONTY’ DELAHUNTY’s online betting service… http://tinyurl.com/5wwj8d. We’ll be at the West London circuit to meet our beloved readership – but for now, with British Summer Time officially finished, it only remains for us to remind you about you some wonderful news regarding…

THIS WEEK’S RIDES

SATURDAY
9am: The Parkride. Not 8:30am – it’s back to 9, thank goodness! Richmond Park, roundabout by Sheen Gate. Four laps split into fast, intermediate and steady groups. Leaving at 9am. We really can’t emphasise that enough.

SUNDAY
8am: Kingston Gate, Richmond Park. Non-stop ride through Surrey Hills.

9am: Hampton Court bridge, south side, Surrey Hills ride. Fifty-ish miles at a steady pace. Stop at Box Hill for tea and cake. Bring a pump, inner tubes, drink, and an amusing story about the club champs.

WEDNESDAY
7.30pm: Richmond Gate, Richmond Park. Steady ride to Chertsey, back via Weybridge, 28 miles.

So until next week, Dynamates, goodbye and happy riding.

The DYNAMITE! team.